ahh...a crazy little thing called Love...except iT isn't a little thing...
iT is Crazy...I must confess...
iT is unclear...iT is undefined...iT is vague and foreign and wispy and foggy andandand...iT is an endless list of acronyms...iT contradicts itself...iT is hyperbolic...yet understated...iT is often misunderstood and misquoted...iT is ill-defined...
I will write a poem, a song, a missive...a story, an essay, a book...on what Love means to me...perhaps if I put it in writing...place my hand upon it and swear an oath to god, the universe, the cosmic and karmic forces, mother nature, Myself...to You....If I sign my name in blood and have it notarized...perhaps then the truth of my love will be seen, heard, felt...understood, accepted and (dare I dream?) cherished...
(Ah...if wishes were nickels...)
But, the defining of iT...the written declaration of iT...the putting iT to words...while time consuming, would be the easy part.
The hard part comes when the words are read by another. We come with a host of experiences...baggage...preconceived notions...We interpret the world around us through these eyes...Eyes that see from within the circle of our lives...from within the circle of our hopes and... our fears...We are shaped and coloured...molded and painted...cornered and set free by all of our happenings...by every passing second...These experiences define us and they provide us with the means by which we then define all else...
If I sing my song of love...will it fall upon deaf ears?
If I write it in rhyme...will blind eyes gaze upon it?
If I sew it together from cloth...will numb fingers feel?
If I cook it upon my stove...will it taste bitter, or sweet?
If I bathe my soul in it's scent...will the smell attract or repel?
If I could...I would ask of you...
May I borrow your voice for a moment?...Perhaps then I could you tell you a tale using words familiar to your lips...May I borrow your ears to write you a riff that only you can hear?...Would you lend me your hands to stitch you a net big enough to capture your heart?...How about your tongue?...so that I may tickle your taste buds with the flavour of my longing...Your nose? So that I may create an aroma to sweeten your memories. And will you take from me these eyes of mine?...so that you may see into the depths of me and know of the beauty I gaze upon when I gaze upon You...
(...we would be rich)
Monday, June 15, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I am sitting here...drinking ice cream...
yes, i said drinking: you see I am thirsty and drinking water, while loaded with common sense, seems sooo boring. So, while standing in front of my open fridge/freezer...i spy strawberry ice cream...*YUM*...but eating ice cream makes me thirsty...which leads me back to water...*Yawn*...
(in the midst of this i realize that the little * sign is on the number 8 key...and I think hmm...I have to remember to tell E cuz the 8 is significant...yes...i am tres ADD)
anyway...I don't want water...I don't want to be thirsty either...sooo...Eureka...put the ice cream in the microwave for 30 seconds (my microwave is very old and heats slowly) and I'll get the best of both worlds...no more thirst AND the pleasure of that strawberry cream...mmm mmm mmm...
and it hits me: as JJ has said (ps: you gotta check out 'faster than kudzu'...hilarious; thanks Lili): "My mental illness number is way high". I would be fascinated,actually, by the ramblings of my mind if it weren't MY mind...on someone else it would seem quaint...eccentric...interesting...maybe even enthralling...But boyOboy, living inside of it is exhausting!!!
Example: I'm pretty sure that when I sat down to type this...I had a point...but for the life of me...I cannot remember what it is...My time would probably be better served by writing that grocery list...but that would bring me one step closer to actually grocery shopping...and I Despise grocery shopping...I mean HATE/ABHOR/DESPISE grocery shopping...*shudder*...so that idea is out...
Hmm...maybe I should pour myself another shot of strawberry goodness and rethink my plan...(I'm pretty sure I had one...didn't I?...oh well...I'll think of it this way...with the current state of my brain, the transition into senility should be a rather painless one)
yes, i said drinking: you see I am thirsty and drinking water, while loaded with common sense, seems sooo boring. So, while standing in front of my open fridge/freezer...i spy strawberry ice cream...*YUM*...but eating ice cream makes me thirsty...which leads me back to water...*Yawn*...
(in the midst of this i realize that the little * sign is on the number 8 key...and I think hmm...I have to remember to tell E cuz the 8 is significant...yes...i am tres ADD)
anyway...I don't want water...I don't want to be thirsty either...sooo...Eureka...put the ice cream in the microwave for 30 seconds (my microwave is very old and heats slowly) and I'll get the best of both worlds...no more thirst AND the pleasure of that strawberry cream...mmm mmm mmm...
and it hits me: as JJ has said (ps: you gotta check out 'faster than kudzu'...hilarious; thanks Lili): "My mental illness number is way high". I would be fascinated,actually, by the ramblings of my mind if it weren't MY mind...on someone else it would seem quaint...eccentric...interesting...maybe even enthralling...But boyOboy, living inside of it is exhausting!!!
Example: I'm pretty sure that when I sat down to type this...I had a point...but for the life of me...I cannot remember what it is...My time would probably be better served by writing that grocery list...but that would bring me one step closer to actually grocery shopping...and I Despise grocery shopping...I mean HATE/ABHOR/DESPISE grocery shopping...*shudder*...so that idea is out...
Hmm...maybe I should pour myself another shot of strawberry goodness and rethink my plan...(I'm pretty sure I had one...didn't I?...oh well...I'll think of it this way...with the current state of my brain, the transition into senility should be a rather painless one)
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